This Is My Offering.

Joshua 1:7-9; ⁷ Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. ⁸ Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

This has been a bit of a life verse for me these past few days. Ever since our pastor read it Sunday, I can't get it out of my head.
Earlier this year I felt called to be a missionary. Not just any missionary, might I add. A missionary whose field is in the wild and scary Africa. I have always felt a small part of me missing. Like a hunger for something more than Augusta, Ga. Something more than America. Something big and life changing. Well congratulations Taylor!! You found it. Sitting in Borders book store at a Bible study I finally admitted to some close friends of mine that I wanted to go and would go at that very moment with nothing but the clothes on my back and the shoes on my feet. I was ready and on fire and excited... until I told my parents.
Now I know what you're thinking: Lions and Tigers and Bears... OH MY. Trust me, my mother feels the same way. But I take all this this way: It's not like I woke up on a Tuesday morning and was like, "Man oh Man I'm so bored... I think I'll tell my parents I'm desiring to go to Africa. Yeahhh. That'll knock their socks off FER SUREE." Right. But I told my mom about it. Her first reaction was that I wasn't mature enough and that I was too young and I'm sure she probably brought up a disease or 50 that I could get from there.
So I put it in the back of my mind and left it there. Summer passed and school started and I didn't bring it back up. Enter Nick and his calling to ministry. He has felt lead to be in the minstry since he was 18 but suppressed it as well. He's been on the slow road to retelling people and making an effort to do something about it. His journey has been very inspirational to me since we have both have problems telling our family. But thankfully for him, his parents got excited for him. And mine were excited for him... but not for me. Never for me.
I understand mine is a bit more out of the "safe-route" loop. But seriously?? If my grandmom is excited, shouldn't my parents, whom of which created me, be a little bit more supportive? It was more than hard to sit in the same room as Nick and my mom while they were talking about his hopes of joining AmeriCorp and living in freakin California and how excited that sounded and how she wished I would do something like that instead of going to Africa. It really hurt. It still hurts.
I feel like this journey I'm about to take to get me there is going to teach me a lot about myself; the me that I never knew. The strong, independent, passionate, determined me. I dream constantly about going there for months on end and coming back to tell everyone about it and how excited they all are and how pumped I am to go back and take others with me. I see myself standing in the dust and looking at the horizon with the wind blowing my hair surrounded by dry heat and seeing the sun setting. I see small children that I'll hug and high five and give shoes to. I see giraffes and zebras and safaris. I see it all and I want it all. And I will have it. I know I will.







TayTay